Dead Oaks
by InkAndJournal
Summary: Yuri won gold. Victor continued his career. Yuri misses Victor, maybe even loves him, but he's too scared to let him know. Victor loves Yuri and doesn't say anything. Yuri receives some news one day and there is only one word on his mind: Victor.


Yuri still remembered the weight of the gold around his neck. He still remembered Victor's tight embrace and the tears of joy that flowed from his eyes. Yuri still remembered the smiles and laughter from Hasetsu. He still remembered Yurio's frustration and above all, he remembered the banquet. He didn't get wasted again but there was a very drunk Victor involved.

 _"I want you to stay with me Yuri." the drunk man slurred._

 _"Victor! You had too much champagne didn't you." Yuri said, taking a sip of his wine._

 _"Only eighteen glasses Yuri, I wanna skate with you forever, I wanna do stuff with you..." the drunk man giggled. Yuri felt his cheeks flame crimson at his words._

 _"O-Okay you had way too much." Yuri said, turning his head to the side so Victor wouldn't see the tears of sadness that fell from his eyes._

Yuri woke up to the sound of his own tears. _O-Oh, I'm in Hasetsu._ Yuri sat up quickly.

"V-Victor..?" he whispered as his gaze traveled around the room quickly. _Oh... he's not here anymore._ Yuri sighed and wiped his eyes. Ever since Victor had left, Yuri had felt... empty. He picked up his phone and scrolled through his newsfeed on his social media in hope of seeing another picture of Victor as he had been posting less and less and any picture of him that was posted was with another skater. Yuri sighed sadly when there was nothing, he already felt the tears forming again.

"I just cried, I don't need to cry again." he muttered angrily. Why did he have to nail all his jumps on his free skate? Why? If he had failed, maybe Victor would've stayed with him for another season. _Who am I kidding? Victor wouldn't have stayed, if I failed then Victor would've seen what a terrible skater I am and he would've decided to skate for Russia again._ Yuri's hand tightened on the sheets. _If that's true..._

 _Why does it hurt so much knowing that?_

Yuri didn't stop the tears that spilled over.

 _Maybe I never wanted Victor to leave._ Yuri put a hand over his mouth to keep in the sobs that now racked his body.

 _Maybe I love him._ Yuri wailed in despair and heartbreak. He couldn't stop the tears, but he managed to slow his breathing and quiet his sobs. He sat there quietly till the tears stopped. After breathing in a shaky breath and adjusting his glasses, he got out of bed and went to the kitchen. After the Grand Prix Finals, Yuri had managed to land a job and an apartment thanks to Yuko's help. It wasn't the best job, but he liked teaching little toddlers how to ice skate. At least they didn't recognize him as the late-blooming figure skating star many people thought he was; no they just saw him as Mr. Katsuki, a teacher who liked his job and class. Minako had been trying desperately to get him back into competitive figure skating, so they made a compromise that Yuri wouldn't tell anyone his plans as long as he was able to have some time to himself. As he poured the beans into the coffeemaker, his phone beeped. Yuri didn't think much of it, just another news notification. But as he was starting the coffeemaker, he started to receive an onslaught of texts. Out of pure annoyance did he actually pick up his phone. He opened his texts from Phichit.

 _Dude you're retiring?!_

 _What?_

 _You haven't checked the news have you. Well check it!_

 _Why?_

 _Rumors say that you might retire!_

 _... Well.._

 _Yuri don't do this._

 _Don't do this to me._

 _Phichit... I'm sorry, but I'm still thinking stuff over._

 _It's because Victor left right?_

Those words punched Yuri's gut. As much as he wanted to blame Victor's leaving, that wasn't the case. It was his own cowardice to face Victor again. Yuri wanted Victor to stay on the ice, that's where he belonged. Yuri didn't even know if he would even make it! He had made no move as of now and there was no way in hell he'd let Victor coach him again. He sighed and started typing.

 _Yeah._

 _It hasn't been the same at all, I think him leaving was for the best._

 _And we haven't been talking as much._

 _You do realize I have his number right?_

 _I don't want to bother him._

 _Besides, he probably moved on from me. I'm not the best lover/figure skater._

 _Yuri..._

 _I'm fine._

 _It's not like he confessed his undying love to me anyway._

 _He only kissed me once, then we never talked or did it again._

 _Yeah but what about what he said at the banquet? And the rings?_

 _He was drunk and they were good luck charms/thank you gifts._

 _Yuri..._

 _Phichit I'm fine._

 _Dammit Yuri you're not!_

Yuri nearly broke into tears again. He wasn't fine but he didn't want to worry anyone. After all, his breaking off with Victor was his decision, not anyone else's! Phichit didn't seem to understand that and was putting all the blame on Victor.

 _Phichit, I said I'm fine. I appreciate your concern, but I assure you, it is not needed._

 _Bullshit! Every single time I talk to you, you just seem more and more depressed! If Victor hadn't left, maybe you would'nt be retiring!_

 _I'm sure I would've retired either way._

 _Yuri goddammit, is one gold all you are going to be satisfied with? What about your dreams of being on the same level as Victor?_

 _Victor has won 5 consecutive golds with his own creativity and charm. I on the other hand can't land a quad as consistently as he does._

 _You won gold this time didn't you?_

 _Because Victor choreographed my programs._

 _He chose you to coach!_

 _Because I was replicating his work._

 _Don't you see Phichit? This is for the best._

 _Yuri, you're letting a lot of people down with this decision._

 _Nothing is final._

 _Well it sure seems like a lot of it is final._

 _Sorry Phichit but I have to head to work._

He shut off his phone and poured his coffee. _I don't even know what coffee flavor I like,_ he thought as he took a sip of the hot drink. He was unsure of everything: his skating career, his feelings, and his relationships. What good would that be on the ice? Sure he didn't doubt his decisions anymore, but he doubted the road that he was taking. He put down his coffee and went into his bedroom, he hadn't been lying when he told Phichit he needed to get ready for work. He quickly got ready and went back to his coffee. He checked his notifications and was surprised when he saw a text from an unknown number.

 _Yuri? It's Victor, Phichit told me you were feeling down and since we didn't exchange numbers, Phichit gave me yours._

 _That and I saw the news._

 _Yuri please don't retire, I miss the way you skate._

 _I'm sorry Victor but it can't go back to the way things were before; it'd kill me._

A/N: What is sleep and why do I need it.

1166 words! That's pretty good.

Otherwise I hope you enjoyed!

Also in case you couldn't tell, yuri won gold with victor first time and he's still deciding whether or not to retire. (but he probably will.)

Love ya!

Inkers


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